Though ignoring them might seem like the easiest way out, we often have to speak to the people who we most want to avoid.Whatever your situation, you can learn to speak with confidence by boosting your self esteem, being assertive, and overcoming your feelings of intimidation.Cowering in the face of a more challenging personality can also come across as: Want to start communicating like an introverted boss? Is there a pattern in the type of people who intimidate you?
Speaking to someone who intimidates you can be scary.
Perhaps you are dealing with a domineering boss or have a classmate who can be a bit of a bully.
As a staunch introvert, loud, aggressive, and/or insensitive people always intimidated me (and sometimes they still do). When I to engage them, I’d often lose my train of thought and fumble through my words or simply fade into the background, letting those around me dominate the conversation.
I eventually realized that there were two glaring problems with my approach: If you’re feeling intimidated by someone, understand that your fear gives them power over you and allows them to dictate your thoughts, emotions, and actions. Is it their overall demeanor, personality, approach, tone, title/position, education level, financial status, viewpoint, or something else?
What assumptions are you making about them and your relationship? In his book, , Gay Hendricks describes the “zone of genius” as the place where your greatest passion and your innate gifts meet. What unique power and talents do you bring to the table?
Your zone isn’t just about what you’re decent, good, or even excellent at… Focus on those strengths — rather than fixating on your perceived weaknesses — and tap into your inner rock star.
Then, the next time you’re asked to do something you don’t want to do, pause and exercise your right to say “no” instead of leaning on an automatic “yes.” Or simply commit to making one relevant point during an upcoming meeting.
It won’t always be easy, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll become with sharing your thoughts and insights.
(Think Brick from the show, “The Middle,” minus the whole bow-my-head-and-whisper thing.) Unbeknownst to me, my brief bout of echolalia was really about my inability to comfortably express my own thoughts in social situations and not about the “intimidating” people themselves.