Do you have enough information to know that you could not marry this man?
If a man initiates with you, ladies, think and pray and seek counsel before simply dismissing him.
This will provide you a chance to get to know him or her well and will also provide a buffer and accountability against getting too emotionally intimate too early.
In the end, there is no formula and no rote substitute for intellectually honest Christians seeking to care well for one another and to faithfully apply Scripture to infinitely varied relational circumstances.
So with all that said, let’s consider how the principle of caring for one another well in the early stages of a relationship might look.
The first thing that should happen if it has not happened during the initiation of the relationship is that intentions should be established.
Whatever that conversation looks like, intentions should be clear and it should be the man making them so.
Ladies, as uncomfortable as this may sound for the guys, you might be in a difficult position here as well, depending on how well you know the man initiating with you. Then I’d ask, have you had any chance at all to see him in group settings, or do you know him by reputation?
If you don’t have even information at that level, feel free to tell him that you want some time to think and pray about it (that is, if you’re not sure at that point that you’re not interested).
Guys, tell her why you have initiated or are initiating with her, tell her that you intend to pursue the relationship to determine if marriage is the right choice before God.
In my view, this establishing of intentions should be done near the beginning of any exclusive or romantic time spent together — preferably within the first two or three “dates” during a deliberate conversation on the subject.
Let me say it again: We’re trying to make intentions clear, here, not asking anyone to commit to go the distance with no information.