Do I give him up no matter how much it will hurt me or do I continue seeing him?
Friendships, in my experience, dwindle in number, but deepen in the few that remain.
There is no doubt I get fewer invitations now, seven years after Desi's death, than we did as a couple. I was married to a man who, like Alan Coren, brought light and laughter into the room with him.
I would thus ask you to advice the man to please take care of his family and love them.
Although giving him up might hurt you, I am certain you will eventually get over it.
He is very loving and affectionate and has made me to come alive.
However, I cannot help feeling guilty because of his wife and children.
Since it appears you have a conscience, just imagine how one feels when a husband who though living, is not alive to his family due to his involvement with someone outside his marriage.
Your association can only lead to regrets and broken hearts.
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They warn you about a great many things when you get married. Forget their machismo, their muscles, all that hunter-gathering; men lack the physical stamina for living, so women last on average ten years longer. If, like me and many other women, you are attracted to talented, experienced older men, their extra years make your widowhood even more likely. It is said that the English vice is reticence, and that we won't talk to the bereaved about their loss, for fear of hurting them. In the end, I used to say: "Ah well, you know," and let them finish the sentence themselves.