Let us discuss some practical concerns for a healthy date. It is hard to put an age limit on when to begin Christian courtship.
Though arranged marriages are found in Scriptures, I believe that was probably more of a cultural thing rather than something mandated by God. I only had the very rare opportunity to attend a school dance or other function with a friend.
No doubt, my negative thoughts and feelings towards courtship, arranged marriages, and dating stem from my own past failures in these endeavors. Circumstances did not change much once I got in college either.
The second factor I attribute to my lack of dates is the sheer facts that I just couldn’t handle dating nor was dating a priority in my life; although, there were times when I would have a tinge of jealousy towards girls who had steady boyfriends. ” Two reasons: one, having been sexually abused at an early age, my hormones kicked in prematurely making the temptation to give in much stronger than had I have not been sexually abused.
Secondly, because of the sexual abuse and having gone out with mostly “jerks”, I learned early to associate sex and love.
That reminded me of an old poem I had stored away that someone gave me when I was in high school. Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone—to have a deep soul relationship with another—to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. And when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you would ever dream.
But God, to a Christian, says: “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, content with being loved by Me alone—with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me— having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You see, until you are ready, and until the person I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience that love that exemplifies your relationship with Me and thus the perfect love.
(Heb13:3,4) If you are not in a covenant, then you do not get the privilege of intimacy.
The problem is, we are so used to having all the privileges without the responsibilities in this world.
Hence, someone in his/her mid-teens who start dating will have to expect a long courtship of a decade or more, which may not be healthy.