Be prepared to answer questions and help your partner understand your specific experience.I use this as a sort of test: If someone responds with kindness and curiosity, they score major points. Sharing — and judging — pictures, an integral part of dating today, can be a major trigger for body image issues, which often go hand in hand with eating disorders.
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For Molly Bradley, a New York City-based writer, “being single and dating while recovering was, in a word, rough.” As she began to recover from her disorder, she gained an amount of weight that objectively wasn’t dramatic but “I couldn’t help but wonder constantly if the second dates I got or didn’t get were related to the way I looked,” Bradley says.
“I felt uncomfortable and vulnerable in my own skin, and it was so easy for any failed connections to contribute to my certainty that my body was, in some way, not right.”.
With time, I’ve become much more flexible with my food, but the same structure that once served me in recovery created a roadblock in my dating life.
Jacob’s strict diet also sometimes got in the way of his love life.
“I was new to spiritual and emotional recovery, and I didn’t always make the best decisions,” Jacob recalls. Connecting with another person becomes infinitely more possible and rewarding when we learn to care for our own needs first.
For Drake, as she began to heal her relationship with food and her body, she also learned to “say no, speak my truth, and ask for what I want in relationships.”Jacob ended up gaining back the weight he lost — and then some — before losing it for a second time.
“I’m authentic, upfront, and explain my own personal experience.
I consider myself to be an activist.” Usually, her dates are respectful, although one spent the whole evening grilling her about eating disorders. “It is a part of who I am, but it’s only a small part,” explains Kronengold.
Jacob*, a musician in New York, also likes to share his food issues upfront.