And online dating is all about perception at the beginning.
For people who are dabbling in the virtual dating world, I’ve compiled a list of tips to help out in as many ways as I can. What works for one may not work for another, so experiment and find out what works best for you.
However, a lot of people aren’t using online dating to their best benefit.
One of my recent female clients had only two pictures up, and both were professional shots. It suggests that this is the best she could possibly look, and, in fact, she might be much less attractive.
I know this election, in particular, has been extremely divisive, but this is not the time to start sharing your opinions on politics or any other possibly fiery topics. We just avoid those topics because we are adults and enjoy our friendship. The woman you’re talking to is a human being, not an object. I know men tend to just say what enters their heads without passing it through a filter.
If you draw out a position that is different from yours right off the bat, you might completely discount the person. It prompts interesting discussions and opens our eyes to multiple sides of an issue, so keep your convo light and fun at the beginning. It can be understandable in person when they get their wires crossed and trip over their tongue. When I am instructing my male clients, I tell them to imagine they are talking to their sister or grandmother at first. The flirting can come later after you’ve had a few emails or calls.
This is someone you’re, well, hoping to sleep with or be in a relationship with. Re-read your messages once before you send them to make sure there are no glaring mistakes.
You’re looking for a potential mate, not a pen pal.
We’re all saying these things because we think that’s what others want to hear, but the more you disguise yourself, the less chance you have of finding someone who’s totally into what you are into.
Author Laura Zinn opines, and I agree, “Be exactly who you are, though this means you’ll get rejected.” That is, until the person who loves everything about you comes along!
However, if you spent some time getting to know them and have built a foundation of mutual respect and, hopefully, interest, then you can start to share more controversial topics. However, when you’re online, you have plenty of time to think about your message. You are a human being first and a potential mate second. You know their real name and possibly their social media handles.