WHEN I told Tom*, a guy I was dating, that I didn’t want to see him any more as we ‘wanted different things’, he probably thought I meant marriage and commitment.You know, the things women are so unimaginatively accused of wanting more than men?
I’ve been flying solo since my divorce a few years ago, not long after my son Josh*, now five, was born. I was in my early 30s, single for the first time in 10 years and, after the trauma of a failed marriage, was keen to go out, have some fun and meet new people.
And, of course, the only way to find guys if you’re at home every night while your child is asleep is online dating.
Gradually I introduced him to Josh, and I also felt like I could trust him with my post-baby body.
That’s another part of hook-ups I’ve found difficult – someone who isn’t the father of my child (and therefore has no obligation to be kind) seeing my body.
At first, it seemed exciting creating profiles on and Plenty of Fish and immediately getting loads of messages.
But I soon got the wind knocked out of my sails when I opened up to friends and family about my newfound love life.
I do realise this all sounds pretty depressing, but then, by some miracle, when I’d been single for around a year I met Jack* – someone I really liked who seemed to really like me.
As his kids were grown up, he didn’t suggest we have our first date at a soft play area or express his disdain for solo parents.
I learned to keep quiet about my dating adventures and largely ignored the so-called ‘advice’, but I soon realised that meeting new men isn’t quite the wall-to-wall fun I’d imagined.