My nine and ten years old children understand more than my husband.
I'm glad she wasn't especially good at maintaining the facade longer as well.
:)I am tired of being the mother of my high functioning autistic husband.
He has no empathy or consideration for my extended family but for his own he puts on an act of mr nice guy. We have had very little physical relationship in the last 19 years, He told me he doesn't like it but wanted the kids. I am 44, feel like I can't wait for my life to be over to have peace in my head. Walking on egg shells all the time, being held hostage in our home, every single event that is supposed to contain joy being full of melt downs and stress is just an awful experience of life.
He says he has no urge towards me and but that he wants to keep the house together, which I take it to mean I continue to be Cinderella. I have become brainwashed to try to keep my Husband and Son calm, don't rock the boat, keep the house quiet, running like a train where change or anything spontaneous is veto'd. We are isolated and he works 100% from home so he is now in the house all the time. He has decided the marriage is going to work and therefore as he thinks it then I must too as he cannot see I have an opinion or original thought of my own. Whenever you confide in anyone they say " Well it's much worse for your step daughter who is in a state of heightened anxiety" I know this and we act accordingly, accommodating her every wish and need for control but it makes life heavy and isolated and boring.
Aspies can inflict pain and then simply walk away from you with no accountability to the damage they've caused. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be married to a ' normal ' guy. I listen all the time to 'his stuff' but anything I say is interrupted or ignored. They claim they have empathy but they have no understanding of the profound consequences of emotion. He had high level job in Manhattan, company gave him big promotion. When bank about to reposess house he took off to Wisconsin leaving me and our son to discover our home was no longer ours. Husband began coming to visit, then showed up demanding to move in.
I have told him over the last 5 years about health issues I have, and are only going to get worse, but unless I present with a broken leg in a plaster cast he won't take any of it in. I keep doing all the things I should and he doesn’t notice when I'm struggling……………A couple of years ago I got rushed into hospital and may not have survived. Quote, "I never feel humiliated." Make sense of this if you can. The only emotions they feel are negative fear and worry. He accepted new position, then walked out to work with man he hardly knew. Our son married, moved to Seattle away from his father. He continues believing he is perfect husband and father, my son and i could fill several books with the Hell he has put us through over the years.
I can't even describe what it is like to be in a marriage like this but i am glad to have found this site. )- unbeknownst to either of us, there was a man in the storage facility who had witnessed everything, and announced that he was calling 911. There should be required testing before marriage licenses are issued so people can know beforehand and have ability to walk away and find a loving caring happy marriage with someone else.children can have TWO loving caring affectionate parents.
Thank you all for sharing and for anyone going thru this now - GET OUT while you can. I was shoved into the car and, when we returned home, I was crying and bleeding. " He stood, unemotional, and responded "I have scars all over my body." I said, "Not from having someone that you love hurting you --- from fishing and chores." He said, totally calmly, "I will go get you some Mederma," and left.... I am married to an undiagnosed Aspergers or ASD 46 year old man for 19 years.
Now I know the two autistic women I let into my life aren't the run of the mill narcissists, the sex, the driving, the speech, the creepy motionless face, the sensitives to flavors and textures, the inflexibility, controlling...