“He was a white guy who was 19, and he would not let it go! Instead of shunning the curious stranger, they talked to him, and “it turned out that he had just started dating a black woman and was excited to see [our relationship] was working.
If you try to ignore all of these differences and say that “race doesn’t matter”, then you are setting yourself up for a big shock.
However, if you can embrace these differences, then your romance can flourish. Fetish assumes that you are turned on by certain characteristics or things, such as people with a fetish for pantyhose or scat or whatever. It is a bit difficult to define the difference between a fetish and attraction.
You will hear lyrics about “white bitches” and how successful black men will “leave your ass for a white girl.” Kanye West then went and married a white girl…Yes, women are seen as trophies and markers of success.
This is a huge problem and you need to be aware of it before you enter into an interracial dating relationship with a white woman, especially if you are black.
Yes, it sucks to let bigots dictate your life, but it is difficult not to let racism ruin your evening.
For example, one interracial couple in Houston said they stopped going to country music concerts together.
You might even learn something too by stepping outside your cultural norms. We can’t help it if we have a preference for one type of look, such as one guy being attracted to skinny women with blond hair whereas another prefers curvy women with darker tones.
How can you tell when it is a fetish and not just attraction?
As Ernest Baker points out at Gawker, it is based on years of white dominance in society.
Whites are privileged in this society and having what they have serves as validation for a lot of people.
As liberal as your partner and community are, there is much to be said about the decades of internalized racism that his/her parents might harvest.