Having a good picker means not only that you learn how to spot and avoid the jerks, but even more importantly, that you don’t miss the really good guys. When a man is in a happy relationship he pours himself into it. We’ve experienced a lot: love, heartbreak, successes, failures – and having lost a spouse is a very real possibility. I have also spent the past 8 years closely observing many women as they dated Ws.
They were unwilling to swap these benefits for companionship plus the possibility of becoming caretakers later on.
Another issue is that widowers often lack the close friendships common among women, relationships that can help them buffer the loneliness of loss.
61 percent of men and 19 percent of women were remarried or in a romantic relationship by 25 months after a spouse’s death.
(Younger widows were more likely to wed than older ones.) And the U. Bureau of the Census estimates that 10 times more widowers than widows find a new mate.
These findings help explain why some older widowers I know have carved out lives for themselves without the slightest interest in dating or remarriage.
One has expanded an acquaintanceship with another man who lost his wife.
One reason for the lopsided numbers is that fewer men are available as women age.
The supposed “weaker sex” still tends to live longer than males, although the gap is narrowing.
They attend community center and theater events together, and frequently dine out.