Ask yourself: Why are you uncomfortable with the relationship? If you are uncomfortable with the relationship, it is reasonable to express your feelings (you have a right to your feelings, after all). I am dating a widow(er) who has children and I am really nervous about meeting them. Make sure you are both on the same page about what the kids have been told and how you are being introduced.Do you feel concerned their late partner’s family won’t accept you? What you decide may depend on the age of the children, whether you are the first person the widow(er) has dated (or at least who the kids have met), etc.
The more you can do to convey your understanding of this to the kids, the better. At each new developmental stage, kids understand the world in new and different ways.
They often start to view their ongoing grief through this new lens and this may mean revisiting your role in the family.
Think about it – people aren’t erased from their families or their family history simply because they have died.
Would you think it odd for someone to have a photo of a deceased grandparent, sibling, or child in the home?
If you don’t understand why this article is necessary, I’ll tell you, the majority of emails we receive on this topic are not from widow/widowers themselves, but from the people who are dating them.
Now, as a griever, you might be thinking, ” and honestly, in the days before we started WYG we may have said the same thing.
We’ve been slow to write about this subject in the past because, well, it’s COMPLICATED. That said, we receive lots of questions in our email asking questions related to new relationships after experiencing loss and, over time, we hope to have articles addressing all these concerns.
Today we’re going to start with a post for a special subset of widows and widowers.
Above all else, it will help to understand how your significant other feels about the photos, so consider asking them.
Ask them what the photos mean to them and, if appropriate, share how the photos make you feel.2.
It’s common to form strong connections with a partner’s family members and it can feel like yet another loss to fall out of touch with these people.