Online dating is the greatest invention the world has ever seen. You browse profiles, find someone you like and start a conversation.
With any luck they will like you back and you can look forward to a new life of love, romance and passionate lovemaking. In reality, it’s like that game at the fun fair where you have to shoot a row of ducks but nobody ever seems to be able to hit the target.
You have to assume that a quick glance at the thumbnails is all she is going to use to decide whether to open the message, so if your main image isn’t the single best photo you own then you are doing yourself a disservice.
No cheesy topless shots, no stuffy formal pictures and no Myspace style self-portraits either—you want a picture that shows you are a relaxed, fun person who has an active social life.
Have you ever deleted an opening message based solely on the thumbnail image?
I think everyone has at some point, and imagine how often you would do this if you received 20-50 a day instead of 1 or 2 a week. Most attractive women don’t even open all of their messages simply because they can’t be bothered to sift through them all.
Likewise you don’t want to tease someone who comes across like they might not be the most confident person.
With regards to messaging men, don’t be overly flirtatious as that can immediately set off their BS detector.
Common sense goes a long way here: Read their profile.
Try to find something that most people may have missed.
Vulnerability is the essence of opening yourself up without fearing rejection. Ask your best friend or someone you trust to proofread your profile to check that what you have written is a fair and honest representation of your personality and you aren’t coming across like a crazy person. Okay, you’ve sorted out your profile and taken some decent pictures, now you’re ready to send your very first message. First, don’t just send messages out blindly: you have to tailor the message to your goals and the person you are writing to.